uni advice for silly freshers part 2. the shequel

sent my face off to the shops whilst the rest of me bed rots

Ok my silly blog destroyers... 

Welcome back to a strongly requested part 2. in the words of the late great Rita Ora (She's not dead but her clothing range with Primark is bordering on the less alive side of rigor mortis). *breathe* I would NEVER release my art before it was ready... but part 2 of my obnoxiously naff blog is fully cooked. she's ready and raw.

Realistically the tiny slither of chance that actual freshers might read these uni tips and tits is so slim, my blog might as well be on the Slimming World diet. cheeseluver but Sheese on the rocks, hold the lactose.

But if you are a freshi looking for some hot to go advice, welcome in, we have Frosty Jacks on tap. Otherwise indulge in this as a piece of soft-hitting, nostalgic, memory-lane sodden 'journalism'.

Loneliness and boredom

Uh oh! Here's the emotional bridge. 

Pre-uni, whenever uni was the topic of conversation, the topic of loneliness would arise. Naively, I felt this topic of chat was an obligatory disclaimer to recognize, an urban myth of sorts, but not a genuine feeling one actually experienced at uni. Afterall, you’re away from home, surrounded by loads of other students, who are going out and making memories all the time, right! Wrong. 

At some point, uni will likely debunk the urban myth status of loneliness and boredom. Whether your mates have gone home for the weekend, or it feels like everyone but you have found their best course mates, there can be moments of still, quiet, and loneliness (especially heightened by the non-stop student buzz around you). 

1. Start planning things to keep you busy during these harder times, from cheffing up that one meal you’ve been putting off making because it requires a spice that isn’t mixed Italian herbs (fancy), to signing up to a society. 

1. There’s also lot to be said for a to-do-list and the routine and satisfaction these gems can bring. You try ticking off ‘clothes wash’, ‘buy cayenne pepper for dins’, ‘email lecturer’ on a mundane Monday. 

(*emotional part*) But most importantly, be kind to yourself and remember that you’re seeing the highlight reel of most people’s uni experience, not the full selection box of emotions and experiences.

👳And if times get really desperados, just convert to a new religion like I did! that will keep ya busy xxx #christianmingle 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Gretchen Wieners is the ultimate Proverbs 31 woman

 Relationships 

some relationships are for a reason, a season or a lifetime. These girls are for all 3  

• Flatcest?

Look, there are countless advice articles out there that practically SHOUT at you, and will wring you out by the scruff of your NECK to avoid getting involved with your flat mate at. all. costs. The reasons for such are fair and reasonable- aka the exact opposite of decisions you’ll make at uni. So, even if you set clear boundaries to never cross enemy lines in your head, it’s not the end of the world if it does happen. Lots of cases it works out, in many it doesn’t, but it’s often only awkward if you make it awkward (and considering you’re sharing a roof, try with all your might to not make it so).

• Sad girl era 

And then there’s heartbreak at uni, which can be one of the hardest slaps that uni life throws at you. You’re in the same bubble as your ex, the same student stomping grounds that mean bumping into eachother in the middle aisle of your local Aldi is an adrenaline inducing high likelihood. 

 This is just another reason (besides the fact that mates are often the longest lasting and best relationships anyway) why maintaining a close friendship support system is so important and ensuring that whether you’re in a relationship or not, you give your mates the time, attention, and love they deserve.

• Working hard, or studying Sociology?

Be easy on yourself if your work suffers as a result of a heartbreak. It's never too late to catch up on the academics (this is coming from a girl who can count the in-person lectures attended on one hand). But! This is also coming from a girl who studied Sociology (aka the softest of subjects. A subject so soft I'm surprised it didn't get the chop from the Tories alongside Golf Management). 

And also coming from a girl who prides herself on working well under last-minute pressure (aka procrastination leaves me no choice but to pull an all nighter the night before the deadline). Your degree might not cut you the same grace as mine did and you might have no choice but to crack. on. 

Penny Sale!!! 2 for 3 on all mental helf disorders!!

Your heart might be in one thousand little tatters but that compulsory lab, those three essays and the two placements won't do themself. In many ways, diving into your academic work can prove to be one of the most delicious and practical distractions. Not only are you pouring in your energy to something productive and rewarding, but the routine and challenge of academic work will put your mind to work on something positive and fulfilling. 

 

Taking care and listening to your own feelings is always top priority and putting off studying is easier to rectify than putting off facing your feelings (which will eventually catch up with you). 

Florals for spring (cleaning)?

Groundbreaking.

No. The only thing that is breaking the ground of your dismal uni room floor is the mound of clothes, chipped plant pots and sports nights miscellaneous dress up pieces that haven’t been touched all term. Uni buildings are basically built upon string beans, cello tape and magic wishes: one stomping foot or passive aggressive door slam away from crumbling destruction. 

In my 22 years of life I know two things to be Bible truth: 

• Every uni term you will acquire a years worth of belongings that would give the Storage Hunters UK team a funny tingling feeling 
•  I’m convinced nothing will taste as good as the Scooby Snacks that I’ll never get to try

You will be a hoarder by the tender age of 20!!!! And when it’s time to move out of halls and into your second year gaff you’ll be overwhelmed with the amount of brick a crap you’ve acquired over the year.  

same! 

But you also won’t want to bin any of it (because you’ll be thankful you kept that beer funnel that’s acquired a thick layer of correct flavoured VK mould). #immunity 

Get rid of stuff as you go along. I Begatron. If you’re not using it, get rid. The box of freebie pens and posters bestowed upon you during Freshers? Chuck. The right of passage yet eternally naff traffic cone you stole on a messy Tuesday night? Return her to the streets! You’ll be glad when the time comes trust and believe.

Good luck babe!

dear fresher. pt 1 the remix

Tips, tricks and tit-bits for the fresher starting uneh

Uni is a lot like Fresh Meat. If Fresh Meat was reffering to the reduced meat aisle of Aldi, and not the iconic Channel 4 situational comedy commediene starring Jack Whitehall and the welsh one from 'Angus Thongs and Perfect Snogging'. It's slighty terrifying, full of unknown grey areas and you might get sick from it but hopefully it'll be a meal you remember for the rest of your (recently converted vegetarian following this slab of meat) lifetime.

if 'fresh' was a synonym for salmonella

Enjoy and take these uni tips and tricks on board (or don't! I've scraped my 2:1 in Sociology so you don't have to).

 Loving your degree (or not)

Some people love their degree, a lot of us don’t. This doesn’t mean you can’t still love uni, but engaging with your course will probably make those lectures a bit more doable. 

We all tell ourselves that we work better at home, or that watching telly and a lecture together actually boosts concentration(!), but we’re all victims of false hope and self-kidding. Sometimes you need to get arts and craftsy and devise fresh ways to make your degree great again.

Bring your child to work day

Alexa my darling, play Unorthadox ft Wretch 32 on Spotify. Yes yes an unorthadox strategy and a poor man's answer to Open University but a fun way to sink your teeth into your course is to bring a mate along with you to sit in on some of your lectures.. and then try out some of theirs! Whether it’s wanting to convince your mate that your course isn’t actually as easy as people make it out to be (Liberal Art veterans rise up), to show them that one really fit course mate you’re always banging on about, or just for some moral support, it's a fun way to bring some novelty back into the mundane.

Bringing a familiar face into an otherwise all too familiar lecture suddenly transforms studying into a day out. Then pay a visit to your pal's own lecture, you might learn something new (or even better, have some newfound appreaction for your course once you realize that there are far drier alternatives out there)... 

one minute you're a freshi getting lost on campus the next min you're a grad saying GET LOST CAMPUS

Explore campus

don’t trek to the library just because that's where everyone else is going Find your own favorite study spot. You'll surprise yourself at the countless study spots scattered around campus. And girls! You can use this to your advantage. For my gastronut girlies, find that secret study room nextdoor to your fave campus supermarket (work motivation is best served delicious- if good taste came in the form of a meal deal and cost £3.40)  

Coming home and getting into bed will feel so much more satisfying after a day out at campus, and it lets you leave work on campus instead of having it mess up the feng-shui of your uni room. 

Sharing the love... of flat cleaning

 Hear me out, but flat kitchen clean-ups became mini national holidays in my first year flat.

 I know.. I know this sounds like something your mum would say after reading an article about how to make household chores sound more fun for your lazy teenager.. But it genuinely became a comforting silly little ritual that allowed us to play adult, whilst wiping away the mess and regret from the heavy night before. You can tell that my first year was during lockdown, can’t you? Times were tough.

The great peak-aliser

Uni does have its fair share of the mundane, the chores and cleaning, and the little jobs that you might not think about whilst living at home. So turning a flat cleaning session into a group activity, (no matter how mundane the task may be) is actually perfect for chatting away (especially once the novelty hangover-laiden chats perched around the breakfast bar start to wear off).

my front garden during second year <3

Blaring out music and bonding over the inevitable moldy garlic baguette you find behind the fridge freezer is community bonding babes. This may sound too Brady Bunch, and the chances are that flat chores are never born equal. Resentment can build and so drawing up a basic cleaning rota is a good shout. Either way, you will probably find that each flat mate will fall into their role. 

(I never took a bin out during first year and I'm prettier for it)

Put yourself out there 

Said every ‘inspirational’ embroidered quote cushion ever. Ok! Ok! I know! Bear with me, because writing such a cliché does not sit right with me either. But! as much as you hate reading it, and I hate to love writing it, it’s the most important piece of advice there is. 

Find your accommodation Facebook group page, join the group chats and take the plunge early. Once you’re moved in and the tapestry has been lovingly blu-taked to the walls, get knocking on your hall’s doors. It might feel daunting but, (start the cliché chart), everyone is in it together. Plus the aura points you’ll gain from being the balshy, brazen flatmate that brings the whole block together is unmatched. Once the scary five seconds of inital meetings is over and out, you'll never have to re-do that first impression ever again. But it will be 10X more awkies trying to introduce yourself to your neighbours once you're one uni term in, and the ice-breaker go-to of playing Paranoia with a gaggle of mis-matched 18 year olds has well and truly gone stale. 

"Strike whilst the iron is hot!" - Chirag Gupta, 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid'

It’s unlikely that you’ll be best mates with everyone you meet, or even that all your friendships at the start will see you through your whole uni experience, but that’s okay and happens more often than not! 

Uni is the one place where you will live exclusively surrounded with people your age, so the chances are your next best mate is just around the corner. It's like Westfield's Kidzania but for young adults. There are tons of societies to join (or opportunities to start your own one), with tons of like-minded people. It can feel daunting joining a society on your own or taking up a completely new sport or interest as a beginner, but even the most confident, expert level members of that socety you want to join were a nervous beginner once too. Nobody's born a natural Battle Re-anactment Society warrior babe, and even the toughest of Hummus  Society members also had to take the plunge once for the first time!

If I could re-do my first year, one thing I would do differently (as well as avoiding my white rum and apple hi-juice tipple era) is say yes to more opportunities (whey! Tally number 3 for the cliches!). I met amazing people in the first year who would become my best mates in the second year -my only regret here, is that I didn’t cement those friendships sooner. #sobstory

stay tuna for part 2 if u want the full uni survival guide of tricks, treats and tomfoolery.

The tragic rise and fall of music videos

There are 3 things on God's green earth that I know to be true:

• If you order an espresso from a cafe but ask for a cup of boiling water after you've paid, you have made your own Americano at half the price #stealfromyourlocalindependant
• There is no best thing since sliced bread. Don't believe what you hear
• A cracking music video can salvage the shoddiest of songs

An ode to the music video

To quote in verbatim the poet laureate that is Maria (the mother in the cinema that is 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding'); the man (song) is head but the woman (music video) is the neck. Music videos are a funny concept. A short film to supposedly showcase its accompanying song. In many ways music videos can boost an already fully-fledged banger and in rare twists of fate, can transform a sub-par, bland, strictly Italian mixed herb seasoning song into the next national anthem.

Everyone individual and every generation has their proto-type case-study to evidence the power of the music video. My individual show-stopper has to be Basshunter’s ‘Every Morning’ music video. This piece of pure cinema gave 7 year old me literally no other viable option but to pick up my jaw off the floor piece by piece.

Jaw-dropping stuff. The story, the drama when the main character girlie gets lost in the sea- all unfolding on a backdrop of brick-phone dalliances and bikini clad girlies (the 00s attitude being less is less when it came to girlies on a yacht with Sweedish DJs). The song provided a delicious backdrop for what was an even more delicious mini feature film. In a sense, this 'nothing-to- write-home-about' 2009 techno cancion acted as a vessel to carry its more charming, more dramatic, and more memorable music video.

Music videos are formative, on a micro and macro level. The music video has penetrated into the realm of popular culture and cultural nuances. You just need to pop your head outside on the 31st October to see countless girls dressed up as school-girl Britney Spears from her '...Baby One More Time' music video. Or the socio-political stir videos can cause, such as Madonna's 'Like A Prayer' in which the Vatican urged people to boycott the video due to its immoral religious imagery (including burning crosses and a Black saint statue coming alive and kissing Madge). Ironically, the Catholic Church completely missed the true message of Madonna's video, which was an ever-poigniant social comment on systemic racism and police brutality against the African American community.

Brit, Madonna and X-Tina Aguilera: Monachs of the pop music video
 

In Layman's terms, the music video was the boy you actually fancy, and the song was his mate who you speak to just to get closer to the fanciable friend. It’s called appeasing. It's called the greater good. The art of carrying.

Music videos: A child of its time?

It really felt that the progression of music videos truly peaked in the 90s and 00s.

The music video conveyor belt had left behind its terrifying pals from the 1980s...

Some personal highlights of mine. Oh the 80s loved a green screen.

its raining men! the weather girls have lost their head

Leo Sayer u really DO make me feel like dancin

tainted luv giving me the heebie jeebs 

 heads gone

And these risque videos paved the way for the boy-band cliches, choreographed dancing and sensationally dizzying and disturbingly non-ironic video story-lines of the 90s, 00s and 10s. There was a comfort culture in the reliable excitement of Saturday mornings watching the Smash! Hits TV channel. 4Music and VIVA were the iconic TV channels that counted down the hottest hits, often made memorable by their music videos (or, in the case of Miss Kathryn Elizabeth Perry’s ‘The One That Got Away’, being upstaged).

Katie as an old woman is something I didn't need to see but also needed it more than life itself

evocative of a simpler time of T-Mobile and Now That's What I Call Music 68   

Growing up in the 2000s meant that your main vices were telly and eventually Youtube. There was no TikTok or quick-fix reels. The era of digital bombardment and see-all media was merely sizzling below the surface; waiting for iPhones and social media to wet our digital dependany. Flipping through the pages of Heat and Mizz magazines to inform yourself about current global affairs (the affairs being the gag-worthing stories from Mizz’s ‘share your shame!’ page). And look! I’m greedy guts! Please bombard my senses! Force me to skim read article after article so I can just get straight to the next, and retain net.ZERO information. I love a bit of over-stimulation. I’m mad for maximalism. When watching a Youtube video, I do have wondering eyes on the auto-cue; I'm already there before I'm here.

But living in a digital age has squished our attention span and overloaded us with never-ending wormholes of endless choices and 'grass is greener' content to scroll through. The result? Nothing is that...special, anymore.  

An ode to: Our teeny tiny insy winsy attention span:

Today’s world wants fast-paced, quick and readily available unlimited content. Today's diminished attention span cannot justify sitting through a 5 minute music video when there are endless TikToks and reels (yes i'm yapping about reels AGAIN) doing the exact same thing, but in delicious bite-sized, four-second spurts that keeps the attention span’s tongue wagging.

Why would there be a TV channel exclusively dedicated to music videos when such media can just dissolve into one of the many things watched, and just as quickly forgotten, on a phone screen!

Even Youtube (the once promised land to music videos) cannot escape our gratuitous appetites, from their new Youtube Shorts feature, to the increasingly popular format of best bit and compilation videos.

Stream or a nightmare?

If Hansxl and Gretxl symbolise the snipped up attention span, then the breadcrumbs they scatter to the gingerbread house lead us to destination: streaming services. The likes of Apple Music, Spotifucked up and Deezer have chewed up any fond memories of music video TV channels and iPod Nanos, and spat. them. out. Yuck!!!

millenial but allow it.
1: Christian rock
2: Praise tecnho
3: Jesus Indie Sleeze
4: Primary school hymns 

Streaming services have cut out the music video middle man and skipped straight to the music, with millions of songs readily available with a simple tap. Streaming services are hot-to-go for our increasingly busy and individualized lives. Take Spotify: within a few uses of the app, AI and listening analytics quickly analyse your listening actiivty and personalise your Spotify experience, from custom-made playlists according to your preferences and new music recommendations. Not only is it quick and easy, but it's all about YOU. And who doesn't love feeling special and individually pampered? Gone are the days of enduring naff songs on the radio or sitting through countless music videos before you get to your floor-favourite.

Non-believers look in my Christian eyes and  tell me you don't love 'Oceans'. Atheists rise up.

So it's all about YOU. AND it's all about keeping up with YOU and YOUR busy, multi-tasking, sensory-overloaded lifestyle. On the run? Airpods in, Spotify on, laptop open to work on a gazzilion other things. Getting ready for a gig where you know none of the artist's songs? Spotify This Is: *insert any artist* playlist blasting, accompanied by their handy lyric feature. House party? You know that Spotify queue is chockablocka with everyone's song requests being skipped so you can get yours to the top of the priority list.

I'll miss you my sweet

Before we unleashed unlimited access to our favorite artists (from their personal social medias, live-streams filmed in their own homes, Instagram stories and appearances on popular TV and streaming shows) artists had a certain mystique surrounding them and their art. There wasn’t the as readily available content to explore more about the person behind the music and their work. Music videos provided several minutes to preciously un-peel another layer of the person behind the music to learn more about this enigmatic talent. This was exciting. This was fresh. And as much as my greedy guts self loves the narcissism of Spotify Wrapped, I equally miss the poignancy of music videos. 

Whilst we welcome the new era of music engagement, the golden age of the music video truly was a time to be alive. Honourable mentions include the likes of Avril Lavigne (or Melissa depending on your Lavigne persuasion)’s spellbinding 'When You’re Gone' music video, laiden with a Richard Curtis style patch work of several devvo story-lines. The old man crying over photos of him and his late wife is harrowing. On par with an Age UK advert.

If this the music video wasn’t the one I usually rely on when I fancy a sob and need a helping hand, I would be inclined to believe it’s one of those compensation ‘accident at work’ adverts due to the scene where the old man’s walls start (literally) falling down around him.

Or the classic Justin Timberlake’s 'Goes Around Comes Around' starring a loverat Scarlet Johanssen and 10 minutes of fully fledged dialogue as we follow their Moulin-Rogue style story of sizzling chemistry, lust and deciet. Just two 2000s icons int their absolute prime. Cinema! And always nice to witness JT before he flipped the classic narrative and turned from his 2000s riches, to his present-day rags. An anthem and an equally astounding video.

It’s all a bit bland that artists nowadays would rather produce a Smiggle looking, graphic-bopping lyric video, in favour of a fully fledged music video. But such is life. And in the worlds of wordsmith Justin Timbers, what goes around truly does come around. If 90s and y2k paraphernalia such as vinyls, cassettes and low-rise jeans have had their comeback, it’s only a matter of time before we’re sinking our pearly whites back into music videos a la the 2000s.

And I have a sneaky feeling that we are beginning to see it happen. Sabrina Carpenter's 'Espresso' certainly made waves this year with a decadant, visually sumptuous music video that matched the sky-high standards of this song of the year. The sepia-toned, vintage aesthetic of this video successfully introduced the public to the next era and aesthetic of her music career. Maybe videos are great again.

I for one, can't wait to sink our grey, brown, pearly-white teeth into the rennaisance era of music videos and pump some life back into this dying art.

A niche ranking of one-off TV and film characters who forever altered my brain chemistry

No such thing as a small role, only a niche obsession with these one hit wonder characters, who in turn made an impact bigger than than their more famous leading stars.

As the famous saying goes, behind every powerful man, there stands a less famous extra. If the man is the head, then his supporting actor is the neck. Essentially, in the majority of telleh and filim stands a few side characters, simply slotted into the plot to allow the main actors to shine. But it is often these shadow lurkers that unintentionally (arguably intentional, given that you’ve gotta make ur 5 seconds of fame count) have imprinted into my brain's double helix structure. 

my MRi scan results came back

Are the faces in this lineup niche? Yep. Would I even say this blog post is worthy of a toilet read? Not really. You're better off passing your spare 5 mins reading the back of a Herbal Essences bottle. But but but but fortune favours the brave and these actors had nothing but nerve and bravery to upstage their leading co-stars the way they did!

Whilst many of these faces may have gone back to their day job and never quite hit the big-time, they have imprinted unto my pop cultural hall of fame.

Scream if u want to go faster (or just scream at the naffness of cheeseluver02).

Road Rager- Gavin and Stacey, Series 3 Episode 6

get ur chompers in this at the 18:54  time tramp-stamp 

Never have I ever, anatomy edition. Let's play! Never have I ever seen a man’s mouth open so wide as this man’s. If there was a drone birds eye view on Billericay motorway circa 2008, the forefront of the footage would simply be this man’s tonsils and silver filling molars. 

The career options for this geez are endless. Get this man a job as town crier!  Shagaluf club rep? He would shine.And you just know he would have ur back on a crowed bus demanding you move down inside the bus.

He made such an impression on me that I refuse to look up if this actor has any other acting credits, because I don’t want to ruin the facade that he purely exists to spurt open mouth road rage for the rest of time, eternal.  You know how some people are born for fame, well, this king was born for a mediocre blog post. Mwah! Bisou bisou my angry man!

Natalie's "You see David" Mother- Love Actually

were u silent or were u SILENCED

The UK is consistent with three things:

• adding 'bam bam bam' into the chorus of Sweet Caroline (haunting)
• it never being too early for a ten from Shirley on a Saturday Strictly Cum Dancing live show
• an annual festive viewing of Love Actually. 

Bette Midler's emotionally harrowing ballad,'Wind Beneath My Wings', spoke a thousand truths for Natalie's mum when she sang that it must have indeed been cold there in my shadow. Natalie's Mum walked a step behind her daughter Natalie who not only got a big shot job working for the PM, went on to snog him at the kid's Christmas concert but also recieved all the major acting credits from this Christmas classic. Mummy dearest didn't get a look in during the rest of the film but I KNOW she would have been there nursing Natalie with a cup of Tetly and whipping out the Family Circle when Natalie had a tough day at the office. 

Fom being called the 'chubby girl' with a 'sizeable arse' to being harrassed by a Btec Bill Clinton when she is just trying to deliver some tea and biccys during a state meeting, Nat had the job from hell. All in a day's work! 

The devil works hard, but the girl 'with thighs the size of tree trunks' (her toxic ex boyfriend's words, not mine) works tenfold.

So, yes I would appreciate a spin-off film dedicated to the emotional labour Natalile's Mum had to deal with daily. She really took her one scene and ran. She ran like the wind beneath her wings.

💨

Please watch 'ar mam utilise her five seconds of fame as God intended at 0.34:

Never have lines from a script moved me more than mum's:

"It's the school Christmas concert you see David"

 

as the Prime Minister appears at his lover's family door. Tears. Festive tears. Love this woman for playing faux Martine McCutcheon's on-screen mummy dearest. And puts the phrase 'nothing but respect for my president' in a whole new light.

Now I love a niche lookalikey. And Nat's mother meets this brief kindly. 💏💋

This woman is the lovechild of several niche leading ladies. Mo from Eastenders meets woman hen from Chicken Run meets northen actress who plays Hollyoak's ill-fated Nanny Breda. 

The woman I call mother and her lineage as follows... Let's just say she comes from a strong line of female hustlers 

cnt 1

baddy 2 on the left

        baddeh 3: The slut strands look like handles. Hold on tight!

Have u ever seen Mo Farrah and Mo Harris in the Queen Vic pub at the same time? No.. didn't think so. #cuntspiracy

                                                                

             

 👄💙

We don't learn her name- her identity is simply stripped down to being someone's mum. She represents the Everywoman.

Harrowing. But it's crazy what 30 seconds of screen time can reveal about a character.
Give her an inch and by golly would you get a mile. When David rocks up unexpectally at the family home, the gang are just about to leave for the concert they are exceedingly late for! Well mummy dearest does not miss a beat when she gets the chance to put her two pennies in and rambles on and on about the politics of the Xmas concert 'you see David'. 

im unhappeh

The woman is clearly desperate to get a word in edgeways! She's been silenced in her own home! Her husband and her daughter won't give her the time of day and God knows she has been waiting for a chance to run her mouth. 

She seems so animated to finally talk that I can't help but question if she's ever truly heard in her household. Just the weight of mother's emotioal load being overlooked by the patriarchy once again. Makes me sick.

Ambassdor Bismark - Barbie in Princess and the Pauper

 =              

Ambi Bambi (Fury) Bitchmark really ate up with his cosplay of Cogsworth the clock from Disney's Beauty and The BEAT. 

Unfortunately, the internet has worked on behalf of voice actor Lee Tockar and wiped his digital footprint clean. The result? 'Oasis 2025 tour tickets' difficulty level of securing any proper footage of Bismark's scenes with dialogue. But hey! Look at that face and look into those eyes.

He is burning the memory of him into your long-term memory bank via the vessle of eye-contact. You are emblazzoned with Bissy Elliot's bis-MARK.

mouth wide open, eyes wide shut. once again, hair that could be used as handles

 

this hair bow is coquette #lolita #myp****tasteslikepepsicola

A covert gay icon I fear. The hair! Even the most Chicken and Chips of Scouse girls couldn't pull off this heated roller glam as good as Bismark. And the middle parting is neat as nails. Wig! (In all senses of the word)

 My icon features in 0.58 to watch camp personified

Keep ur eyes peeled for his waltzy walk. he glides. and the homoerotic tension between him and King Dominik! Tantislising!

K keep ur eyes peeled for part 2 if i haven't got a proper 9-5 job by then!