A niche ranking of one-off TV and film characters who forever altered my brain chemistry

No such thing as a small role, only a niche obsession with these one hit wonder characters, who in turn made an impact bigger than than their more famous leading stars.

As the famous saying goes, behind every powerful man, there stands a less famous extra. If the man is the head, then his supporting actor is the neck. Essentially, in the majority of telleh and filim stands a few side characters, simply slotted into the plot to allow the main actors to shine. But it is often these shadow lurkers that unintentionally (arguably intentional, given that you’ve gotta make ur 5 seconds of fame count) have imprinted into my brain's double helix structure. 

my MRi scan results came back

Are the faces in this lineup niche? Yep. Would I even say this blog post is worthy of a toilet read? Not really. You're better off passing your spare 5 mins reading the back of a Herbal Essences bottle. But but but but fortune favours the brave and these actors had nothing but nerve and bravery to upstage their leading co-stars the way they did!

Whilst many of these faces may have gone back to their day job and never quite hit the big-time, they have imprinted unto my pop cultural hall of fame.

Scream if u want to go faster (or just scream at the naffness of cheeseluver02).

Road Rager- Gavin and Stacey, Series 3 Episode 6

get ur chompers in this at the 18:54  time tramp-stamp 

Never have I ever, anatomy edition. Let's play! Never have I ever seen a man’s mouth open so wide as this man’s. If there was a drone birds eye view on Billericay motorway circa 2008, the forefront of the footage would simply be this man’s tonsils and silver filling molars. 

The career options for this geez are endless. Get this man a job as town crier!  Shagaluf club rep? He would shine.And you just know he would have ur back on a crowed bus demanding you move down inside the bus.

He made such an impression on me that I refuse to look up if this actor has any other acting credits, because I don’t want to ruin the facade that he purely exists to spurt open mouth road rage for the rest of time, eternal.  You know how some people are born for fame, well, this king was born for a mediocre blog post. Mwah! Bisou bisou my angry man!

Natalie's "You see David" Mother- Love Actually

were u silent or were u SILENCED

The UK is consistent with three things:

• adding 'bam bam bam' into the chorus of Sweet Caroline (haunting)
• it never being too early for a ten from Shirley on a Saturday Strictly Cum Dancing live show
• an annual festive viewing of Love Actually. 

Bette Midler's emotionally harrowing ballad,'Wind Beneath My Wings', spoke a thousand truths for Natalie's mum when she sang that it must have indeed been cold there in my shadow. Natalie's Mum walked a step behind her daughter Natalie who not only got a big shot job working for the PM, went on to snog him at the kid's Christmas concert but also recieved all the major acting credits from this Christmas classic. Mummy dearest didn't get a look in during the rest of the film but I KNOW she would have been there nursing Natalie with a cup of Tetly and whipping out the Family Circle when Natalie had a tough day at the office. 

Fom being called the 'chubby girl' with a 'sizeable arse' to being harrassed by a Btec Bill Clinton when she is just trying to deliver some tea and biccys during a state meeting, Nat had the job from hell. All in a day's work! 

The devil works hard, but the girl 'with thighs the size of tree trunks' (her toxic ex boyfriend's words, not mine) works tenfold.

So, yes I would appreciate a spin-off film dedicated to the emotional labour Natalile's Mum had to deal with daily. She really took her one scene and ran. She ran like the wind beneath her wings.

💨

Please watch 'ar mam utilise her five seconds of fame as God intended at 0.34:

Never have lines from a script moved me more than mum's:

"It's the school Christmas concert you see David"

 

as the Prime Minister appears at his lover's family door. Tears. Festive tears. Love this woman for playing faux Martine McCutcheon's on-screen mummy dearest. And puts the phrase 'nothing but respect for my president' in a whole new light.

Now I love a niche lookalikey. And Nat's mother meets this brief kindly. 💏💋

This woman is the lovechild of several niche leading ladies. Mo from Eastenders meets woman hen from Chicken Run meets northen actress who plays Hollyoak's ill-fated Nanny Breda. 

The woman I call mother and her lineage as follows... Let's just say she comes from a strong line of female hustlers 

cnt 1

baddy 2 on the left

        baddeh 3: The slut strands look like handles. Hold on tight!

Have u ever seen Mo Farrah and Mo Harris in the Queen Vic pub at the same time? No.. didn't think so. #cuntspiracy

                                                                

             

 👄💙

We don't learn her name- her identity is simply stripped down to being someone's mum. She represents the Everywoman.

Harrowing. But it's crazy what 30 seconds of screen time can reveal about a character.
Give her an inch and by golly would you get a mile. When David rocks up unexpectally at the family home, the gang are just about to leave for the concert they are exceedingly late for! Well mummy dearest does not miss a beat when she gets the chance to put her two pennies in and rambles on and on about the politics of the Xmas concert 'you see David'. 

im unhappeh

The woman is clearly desperate to get a word in edgeways! She's been silenced in her own home! Her husband and her daughter won't give her the time of day and God knows she has been waiting for a chance to run her mouth. 

She seems so animated to finally talk that I can't help but question if she's ever truly heard in her household. Just the weight of mother's emotioal load being overlooked by the patriarchy once again. Makes me sick.

Ambassdor Bismark - Barbie in Princess and the Pauper

 =              

Ambi Bambi (Fury) Bitchmark really ate up with his cosplay of Cogsworth the clock from Disney's Beauty and The BEAT. 

Unfortunately, the internet has worked on behalf of voice actor Lee Tockar and wiped his digital footprint clean. The result? 'Oasis 2025 tour tickets' difficulty level of securing any proper footage of Bismark's scenes with dialogue. But hey! Look at that face and look into those eyes.

He is burning the memory of him into your long-term memory bank via the vessle of eye-contact. You are emblazzoned with Bissy Elliot's bis-MARK.

mouth wide open, eyes wide shut. once again, hair that could be used as handles

 

this hair bow is coquette #lolita #myp****tasteslikepepsicola

A covert gay icon I fear. The hair! Even the most Chicken and Chips of Scouse girls couldn't pull off this heated roller glam as good as Bismark. And the middle parting is neat as nails. Wig! (In all senses of the word)

 My icon features in 0.58 to watch camp personified

Keep ur eyes peeled for his waltzy walk. he glides. and the homoerotic tension between him and King Dominik! Tantislising!

K keep ur eyes peeled for part 2 if i haven't got a proper 9-5 job by then!