cheeseluver02: Get ready with me 2 take the bins out: The 2026 Sin Bin

2026 has started with a frankly, horrific bang, soundtracked to the latest TikTok sound-an audibly sadistic mish mash of 'and probably will be for lif-TIME CAST A SPELL OM YOU BUT YOU WON'T FORGET ME', the salacious rumours that #2016 core is back and everyone and their nana nursing Guinness 0.0 pints in the name of Dry Jan- it's all looking a bit yuck.

But whilst the 2026 bin is already brimming with tat, last year's sin bin is bulging and still lurking in the corner, waiting to be taken out. It's bin day babes. Let's take out the 2025 tat, and replace it with the more favoured, 2026 tit #titfertat. (yes this is another glorified 2026 ins and outs list just dressed up in something else yeh).

We are binning the following Hinge prompts:

'Typical Sunday... F1 and a roast' .. I swear 2 fuck. Hinge delegates are running around like there's a ration on having your own personality.

'Pizza is my second favourite thing to eat in bed' Outrageous.

Full stops as the answer to a prompt. Mmmmm a personality of a piece of A4.

Anything about Letterboxd. You just know they’re asking for your top 4 Letterboxd as an in to throw loads of obscure, underground cinema recs at you, whilst u stare into the barrel of ur pint and bitterly conceal ur secret, true self who loves Channel 5 daytime films.

'All I ask is that you bully me' What's your preferred bullying method of choice? Cyber or verbal abuse? #multimedia

'I bet you cant guess my ethnicity' Sexed up eugenics. Bin bin bin benvinguts. But ultimately, just deathly boring. Dull as dishwater. In In In? Literally any other prompt that resembles a personality.

Any mention of cheese (the Hinge massive seem to be obsessed with cheese and have a plethora of dairy-related opinions that they simply must get off their chest). Doesn't sit right with me. Cheese is an unequivocally icky word. Sincerely, Cheeseluver02 xxx Let me reclaim it.

Any sort of fetishization of autism (Like a chef enjoys preparing a potato in a million different ways, Hinge boys adore preparing autism-related prompts in several different (but equally jarring) fashions: 'All I ask is that you're a bit autistic', 'My therapist would say I've got a touch of the 'tism', 'I like girls who are slightly autistic'. When I tell you the boys have grouped together and decided, in some sort of hive-mind collective fashion, that autism would be a quirky thing to splodge on their Hinge... It crops up on every other Hinge profile and it's enough to make you want to do the unthinkable... and download Plenty of Fish. Not only is it weirdly fetishy, its just so insanely boring. As Angel Martinez says, writing for Dazed, "It’s advisable to steer clear of any men on the apps who say they want an “autistic girlfriend”, when in reality they just want a Manic Pixie Dream Girl." (Angel Martinez, 2025).

Binning kitten heeled sandals, in favour for FitFlops

I looooove a conservatively sexy kitten- heel sandal as much as the next guy, but a FitFlop... you're kidddding me!!!!! Hot stuff!!!!!!! All the peep-toe, Y2kness of the chunky kitten-heel sandal, but with a post-ironic comfort. Thanks to the Y2k revival, we have lovingly welcomed all things art teacher core back into our Vinted consciousness: maxi skirts, chunky cardigans, v-neck long sleeves and claw clips etc, but how can you say you're a true ally of this trend if you haven't yet reached the memory-foam heights of FitFlops. The only shoe to be sold by pharmacies world over. Orthopaedic deliciousness. The shoe that walked so that mums and art teachers from the early 2000s could run (errands and/or a campaign of oil on canvas terror). Vajazzled, extra chunky, extra orthopaedic- there's something for everyone! Cunty, sensible fun. This is pinot-grig in a shoe.

Rockafella skank.

wearing these to the drag brunch on saturday huneehs xx

Oh to be on an Avanti Westcoast train and see the wearers of these shoes cracking open canned G&Ts, cackling away and getting loose on the way to Abba Voyage #huns

Fancy another sin for the sin bin? Vinted descriptions written by girlies who think anyone smaller than their size are whales, mammoths, units, hulks etc:

There's a special place in Hell, reserved for the Vinted girls who take pleasure in other people's dress size, (God-forbid), being bigger than their own. Selling an old cum rag state of a jumper, for a hitched up price (but open to sensible offers!), the description will be keen to tell you that this jumper just doesn't them anymore after they lost soooooo much weight. It practically falls of my skinny, non-existent waist now! But I could wear it when I was much bigger and huge and a physical boulder, and so is the perfect garm for my bigger girlies!! Label says its this size, but is deffo bigger (its MAMOUTH!) and I will never reach for it again since I became the size of a small boiled sweet (which coincidentally, is the thing that the rest of u fateehs insist on scoffing whilst u doomscroll for a new tent to buy). #y2k #authentic2000s

Enough!!!!! Say its size, give proper dimensions and show off how sexy the garm is without any of your internalised body-dysphoria chatter, thank u diva cakes xxxx

Bin? Looking up Google reviews to find good restaurants. In? Reading your local Spoons reviews:

Call it having too much time on my hands, but I started the second week of my 2026 knee-deep in the Google reviews of my favourite local Spoons. It truly was wonderful literature, and a lesson in multi-media story-telling. Photos of the iconic Delftware Spoons plates laiden with 'bacon that was still alive', paired with wonderfully written chunks of prose, lamenting on the horrors of this grubby establishment, have really made my 2026 resolution to read more, a very easy feat.

Dark

From stunned tourists to disillusioned locals, Spoons has always been consistent- consistently disappointing, consistently grubby, and reliably ever-bleak. If you’ve ever been, this is hardly news (if anything, it’s part of the charm). Which is why watching people turn their gripes in digital lament speeches remains a feast for my 2026 eyes. More of this reading material please.

Steal from the rich, give to the poor xx

Live from the bog. Spoons isn't real, I wish Spoons was real.

The fate of The Traitors needs to be collected on bin day

I've been letting this lingustic gripe slide for a couple of series now... But its ugly head has reared itself far too many times now to ignore, so naturally its time to call it out on Cheeseluver02. Too many cast members are religiously calling Faithfuls, fatefuls. Why, in a game where the whole set-up is divided into two camps- Traitors or Faithfuls, some players insist on mispronouncing it as fatefuls. Nothing to do with fate luv. Lazy, uncouth and a bit of a 'up yours' to my father who would have sold his left leg to get on the show, and single-handily rewired his dyslexic brain to ensure his pronunciation of faithful was right every time xoxoxo Grinds my gears in an obnoxious way.

Bin this fateful nonsense and start calling them Faithfuls, as God (Claudia Winkleman) so intended. And whilst we're on the subject, can they stop saying 'yourself' as a substitute for 'you'. Whenever someone has the cheek to say, 'I voted for yourself' it gives me the hibbe jeebies. It doesn't sound as sophisticated as you think, and you're fooling no one. My preferred personal pronouns are 'you'/'I'm voting for you, Fiona', never 'yerself'.

In the bin? Double dates. In? Triple dates

Dating is a bit of a mess to be honest. I’ve been on enough first dates where I’d genuinely rather be with my friends than perched in a Spoons with a guy who probably uses those exact prompts ^^ on his Hinge. For that reason, 2026 is the year of triple dates: a pub trip with your pals, injected with some extra tomfoolery.

Unlike the slightly more peak, side-by-side comparison of success that double dates dangerously invite, a triple date keeps the stakes low. At best, only one couple is likely to hit it off enough to exchange numbers, leaving the other two sets of friends in the c’est la vie throes of a fun, inconsequential night out. Sure, you might feel like chopped liver while waiting for the evening’s lone success story to wrap things up, but at least the voyeurism of it all has gone Dutch, split neatly with your other pal. Inspired by true events (Pablo, we'll always have Valencia xxx)

Double date with prosexxo xxx

The over-use of the word 'Nuance' , 'Discourse' and 'Cultural Zeitgeist'

Listen to any of the podcasts ranking high in the charts right now, and you will, categorically hear the word nuance, discourse and cultural zeitgeist chucked around like they're going out of fashion. Everything suddenly has bucket loads of nuance stuck to it, and every discourse can be discussed in relation to the cultural zeitgeist it exists in. Nuance is the particularly big hitter... But so much overexposure means that it's stopped sounding intelligent, and just sounds like you don't know what else to say on complicated subject matters. Substack writer, Connie Morgan puts it quite nicely, saying, "Folks use the word “nuance” as a shield against commitment." It's used to wrap up ideas neatly, as a disclaimer for when someone just doesn't really know what to say. Objectively, nothing wrong with these words. Subjectively, nails on a chalkboard. Stevey Bartlett, j'accuse!