Wednesday, 15 January 2025

Millennial things that are actually 'lit'

millennial things that i acc enjoy 

The millennial boys and girls do some things well. Or, to put it in millenial speak, they 'did a thing' (and they do it well).

We are all familiar with the archetypal family member who could obv never be racist! because their neighbour is second-generation immigrant, their meal deal of choice is the Chicken Tikka wrap with a sushi snack in the *name of culture* and they have literally never seen colour in their life!! Well, I fear that I see myself in them.. have I become what I always sought to hate?! Only, it's not a question of colour, race, or gender... it's a matter of millennium. If I'm colour-blind, then my other senses have been heightened because the stench of the millennials is REAKING. (and it smells like So... Kiss Me body mist).

let me hot box this


I've socialised with millennials, I've got family members who are millennial, and I love Robbie Williams' song, Millennium. So yes, I am a Millennial sympathesier. Feels liberating to speak my truth.

They're human too guys. Beneath the painted on skinny jeans, and underneath the 'quirky' faces posing for thier Retrica photohoot, there is a person. And whilst they're responsible for giving Gen Z some good punchlines to the same wrung-dry jokes (you've got your cheering prosexxy Boomerangs, and the great equalier Hinge prompt; 'i love men in skinny jeans' to sort the wheat (Gen Z) from the chaff(Millennialz). But it's not all bad... Yes, we have lost some good men, but we have also gained some high-value treats at the hands of those baked from 1981-1996.


bottomless brunch
colourised footage of Gen Z making peace with Millennials, 2024 


















competitive drinking mixed with normalising day drinking. What is not to like! Several glasses of glorified squash and vodka, doused in ice chunks, and lined with a plate full of beige food (that will be served as a round two in the Las Iguanas toilet bowl). Mush and chips! Bottomless brunch has become lore in the Ley household, following my eldest sister (born 1993), sicking up her fifth glass of prosexxy at the table and climaxing the afternoon by vomming tabboleh in the disabled toilet. prat summer.


taking the hobits to isengard


every generation has their 'I remember exactly where I was when I heard Diana has died' moment'. I remember exactly where I was when I was exposed to my first sweet taste of the meme, an inpenetrable nectar that would weld into my brain tapestry for the rest of time. My 90s born sisters were howling at a silly little video wherby, someone (kindly), remixed The Lord of The Rings theme into a filthy, eurotrash type beat.  Trancey, ethereal and not completely disimillar to a Charli XCX b-side. Such a filthy beat, it's unhygienic. 

SO yes, the millennials might have a perverted obsession with the fantasy land (ie, Harry Potter, elves and Lord of the Rings, and the delusion that skinny jeans r the most flattering denim) BUT, this time, i'll allow the fantasy. It's camp as Christmas. P.S. the emotional bridge with Legolas and his blonde weave is nothing short of a miracle.


'that's lit'

does what it says on the tin. One of those those phrases that I began saying with a thick scoop of irony..until it stuck like an al dente Spaghetti hoop to a wall. I like 'that's lit' because its a delicious precursor to many a famous saying: 'that's litmas paper' (appeals to the GCSE Double Science girlies), 're-lit my fire' (appeals to recent viewers of Better Man and Take That comrades). Versatile and reliable.
99.9% don't know this secret!! Dermatologists HATE her!




abbreviated vocab 
'i did a thing', 'doggo', 'platty jubes', 'gas and leccy'. All Millennial classic phrases that can unite generations across the land. Bit cringe? Yaspolutely. Bit addictive? Like MSG. I personally enjoy the Millennial persuasion of stunted vocab because it's every lazy girl's dream to short cut words and skip to the good bit. yes pls. 
Millennials are single-handily mental heath deniers. makes me sick


i had to hold space for this ye oldee classic because it felt right. iVape. 



thinking a #hashtag is a good substitute to a joke punchline

it's lazy and adds absolutely 0 to the comedic value of a joke.. yet, I love it. Just adding a keyword to the joke's material as an extra buzzword. It's like SEO but make it funny. A cheap laugh.
#yuck! #comedyshorts #LOL #rofl


Being defensive and hyper-sensitive

a comment on a Buzzfeed article (self-fulfilling prophecy); '40 Things People Roasted Millennials for loving' 





We all know a Millennial who is too quick to defending their Millennial positive stance. Border-line defensive and hyper-sensitive to a sniff of criticism about their most prized possession; being born in the 80s/90s. 

Question for the board.. if there's nothing to feel guilty about, then WHY are you acting so defensive Millennials?

As a hyper-supersonic sensitive soul, I felt this one.

x

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