Me and telly:
Ever since I can remember, I have structured my life around priorities. Working my way around the dinner plate? Prioritise eating the green beans first so they're out of the way. And it was always top priotity to ensure I had my ranking of Girls Aloud members secured and memorized, just incase I should be quizzed about such political alignment.
So yes, when I was in my Mike TV era (ages 7-11-current), my hierarchy of needs was very telleh-leaning. see fig 1 for details of my Key Stage 3 TV leaning preferences:
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| Maslow's Hierarchy Of Needs revisited |
(C)Sh(itv):
Ok! graphics r cool. But notice how CITV falls to the bottom of the food chain. CITV would always be the channel put on the bench, purely for emergency purposes but never to be seriously considered for the leading role. The likes of CBBC and Channel 4 5:30pm viewings of Four in A Bed would take priority over Citvshit anyday.
And i'm at peace with that for the most part, its limp offerings consisted of crudely done cartoons (Horrid Henry is obv the exception to the rule), and shows were ravaged by adverts (my first taste of Capitalism and it tasted like Lelli Kelly shoes, the cuteeest shoes oh yeh!)
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| stop passing the buck Zuzma !!!! |
and not least CITV's tacky logo...it looks like it was designed by this lot >> after a bust up in the taxi, and a stroppy call on the Samsung Galaxy :
Wait!! CITV were acc looksmaxxing to the max:
However! Like all good authors, the story arc that I had constructed for CITV suddenly shifted! I came to realise that whilst CITV lacked in substance, they more than made up for it with looks. CITV was stuffed to the brim with characters who served up looks every single afternoon, and we never even realised it. Whilst we were all at CBBC's house, wagging our tongues at Justine Littlewood's baby tee fits and the y2k vampy looks plastered all over Young Dracula, CITV divas were brewing something deliciously aesthetically pleasing.
Don't believe me?
You''ll shit houte couture when u see it!!!
Looks, fits, stylez from the CITV girls! Forgot those days of the week imprited socks, inspire your weekly looks in the style of some of the baddest in the business. CITV divas 43ver.
💋💋Dress your working week up according to these CXntTV Divas:👄💖💋
Monday: Mel from My Parents are Aliens
A children's sitcom about aliens who come to earth and disguise themselves as humans, in the form of foster parents. the care system is in tatters.
Mel: the older and cooler sister of the clan, dressed to the 7,8,9s all day long.
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| My Depop veterans would be chuckin out lowball offers left right and centre for that graphic tank and stringy belt |
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jarvis cocker or david tennant? either way that man looks like a cigarette
but! he's Scottish and djs at the school. so he's naturally on my hit list. |
Tuesday: Danny from Britannia High
A poor man's answer to High School Musical, for those whose parents were 2 povvo to buy Disney Channel. Quite a sensational drama. A nice stepping stone to a future watching Hollyoaks and Made In Chelsea.
 | fig 1. danny and lauren scissoring! |
fig 1. I believe this promo shoot was the inspo behind Sabrina Carpenter's Juno: 'have u ever tried... this one?' Talk about changing up positions...
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| a chunky cowboy belt straight out of 2009, a muscle t tank top and a look of fear in ur eye |
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| fig 2.if effy stonem was born on the wrong side of the tracks |
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he's such a style icon he already had pre-made style guides: SAY NO TO SKINNY and wristbands are in Tueday's #ootd
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celebrate ur natural beauty, blur gender norms and let the tom boy in you 'think pink'. The bootcut jean is nothing short of sensationalist media. Kenny Lamar's Super Bowl's inspo.
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Wednesday: Tricky TV
Stephen Mulhern invites his audience into the 'secret circle' as we enjoy him and his gaggle of work experience interns performing SPELL-BINDING magic tricks. I pinned my entire career's hopes and dreams on this tomfoolery, and convinced myself I was going to be a magician.
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| Happy hump day girls!-have some self-filled colouring books! |
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| yes i fancy stephen mulhern from the 2000s, yes i am working through this info |
it's Vegas night girls! pop on ur best BlackJack inspired looks with a red and black job lot.
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the vibe is red, burgandy and mayybbee a maroon JUST make sure it's ill-fitting !!! |
Thursday: Jungle Run- the monkey huns
still the gameshow that I would bet on winning. let me win my Gameboy and leave the rest of the teammates trapped in the temple in peace!
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the chosen 2 monkeys when Noah decided to save them on the Arc
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These girls gave us a demo in co-dependant relationships and volumising your barnet. They would literally chuck all sorts of shit at the pre-pubescent kid contestant, in the name of keeping them locked away from their man. Hot stuff. So toxic and troubled.
Also giving us a masterclass in the politics of misusing box-dye and sunshine. Green hair, and green faced with envy.
Friday: Bel's Boys
| An Irish gem, about a 9 year old band manager and a gaggle of Irish boys who look like a body- dysphoried version of Panic! At the Disco. I fear they rocked, so Paul Mescal could run and go on to fly the flag for Irish men. Blazer looks for those Thurs post-work drinkies!! |
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| one thing about these boys, they luv a blazer with a jean. Sixth Form smart casual dress#coded |
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| Comrade core meets sexy office siren meets Kurt from Glee |
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a chris martin inspired long sleeve-short sleeve moment. sky full of slags for the waistcoat and tie combo.
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